GUIDE TO GETTING A B.A.P: PART I

this is necessary due to recent experiences and conversations with other baps. There is a shortage of eligible male baps. yes. black american princes. excuse me, "basps", black american straight princes. i love my gay men, but you all can only do so much for me... lol. I have conversations incessantly with females and we all have the same problems. so i propose this guide. it is a step by step system to help basps connect with baps. the world will be a better place.



*NOTE* this guide is for the intelligent black, professional males out there aged 21-30. if you are over 30, its not that you are not eligible, but personally i feel that you should be on a different page than myself. also, my uncles are all over 30.... In addition to this, you will find that all the answers are not here. if you find yourself confused or unable to comprehend, you sir, are not ready for a b.a.p.



step 1: assess your swagger.


my definition of swagger may be different than yours so pay attn. there is no one way to have swagger. it comes in many forms. you do not have to imitate any particular hip hop moguls or throw unnecessary slang into your speech or even fluff your speech with big ass words to impress someone. swagger comes from within and will naturally come about when you are true to yourself. if you like rap music, you like rap. if you like reading Shakespeare, so be it. if you like both, even better. i guess i can only speak for myself but i am sure a bap wants someone that can bring her something she cannot bring herself or something that is different from the next guy. this means that you wearing tight true religion jeans and some fancy ed hardy tee with your draws slightly exposed may not be enough for you to pass the test and receive the digits, essp. if i have never seen you in my life. do some upgrading and diversifying of your swagger and sexiness before approaching a bap, or you will get your feelings hurt. don't try to be something you aren't. that's not cool. if you wear a shirt and tie to work, that's you, if you don't, that's you too.



questions to consider: do you stink? does your breath stink? how does she look? is she in a hurry? are you ALOT older than her? do you own a linen two piece? is she smiling when you say hello to her? are you too close for comfort? did she say she has a boyfriend? are you touching her? are you looking at her like she is a piece of meat?

parts of your swagger:
your appearance: hair,clothes,shoes,scent
your "look", ie: laid back, aggressive,thuggish,intellectual, stand offish
your interests: music,books,activities,travels,experiences
your speech, vocabulary, tone of voice: what words and phrases are you using?

step 2: the introduction


this is crucial to the whole process. part of diversifying and sexifying your swagger is "stepping up your vocab". the annoying "HOW U DOIN?" "WHAS YO NAME""AY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE" will get you a *blink*blink*, a click of the heels and an about face. an eye and or neck roll may be included. you must understand that just because you think she is cute, she just might not think the same about you. as a decent man, you must grow some balls, accept this and move on. think of this as the "elevator pitch" used in networking events. if you had one minute to express yourself to a potential employer, what would you say? Would you really say "Hiwhatsyournamecanigetyournumber?" HELL NO. So why would you do it to a girl you would like to get to know? Take your time, assess your swagger, assess the situation, then move in cautiously. Switch up the greeting, make an interesting comment or observation...sumthin!



step 3: the interaction and exchange


be confident, but don't get too fresh. give her some space. you approached her, now give her time to assess you. too much pressure is a HUGE turn off. in trying to get information you can detect whether or not she is interested. if she is giving you short and choppy answers, abort the operation! if she is smiling and actually engaging with you, then proceed with caution. here's a huge tip. If she mentions a boyfriend, BACK UP. I have had guys ask if I had a boyfriend, even if i didn't, i would say i did to get them to leave me alone. then they have the nerve to say "well can we be friends?" NO NO NO NO NO. If a girl wants to talk to you, she would not tell you she has a boyfriend!!!! DUH!! These are important signs. If all is well you have two options. 1. if this is a quick introduction on the street or in the club, and contact information is needed, then you can simply ASK how she would like to proceed. it is simple " should i give you my contact information or would you like to give me yours". it is 2008 people, a screen name, email etc will work if the digits are hard to come by. If you have plenty of time, or you know for sure you will see her again, wait to exchange information. it wont hurt and again, she will appreciate you wanting to contact her in more ways then calling and having breathing sessions, although a call is better than a text...

stay tuned for PART II. in the meanwhile, enjoy this comic relief and how NOT to approach a BAP.