money does not equal class.

So have you seen The Real Housewives of Atlanta? If not, I suggest you take a peek. I knew this would be a mess and I was 100% correct. I watched a couple of episodes and just shook my head, but I had to blog about this particular episode I saw. Now the concept in general is ridiculous because the “housewives” they showcase are just ridiculous. Seriously; and if you know me, you know I am far from a hater. Let me describe to you these characters: “NeNe” who opens the show with “I don’t keep up with the Jones’, I AM the Jones’!” is a washed up hoodrat who lucked up with an old fool who spoils her. For as much money as she waves around, her weave looks like a dead animal. She is unrefined and insists on showcasing her breasts constantly. Clearly something is wrong with you when you buy a $7,000 custom tailored suit for your son to attend Clark Atlanta University….no comment, well I do have a few, lmao. There is nothing wrong with Clark Atlanta, but there is something wrong with you buying a custom suit for him to attend. Anyways…”DeShawn” is a more refined hoodrat, but damn if she aint DUMB. I was huffing and puffing at the screen when tried to put a charity gala together for her foundation and tried to raise 1 MILLION dollars. She invites over 500 people into her HOUSE for FREE and expected to raise; did I tell you? 1 MILLION dollars! -_- and had the nerve to be upset! Like she did not know why!! She is not that much of a socialite where people will just come to your house and drop that much cash!! Who do you think you are!! Ok. Ok let me calm down. It was very noble of her to want to raise lots of money for her foundation whose mission is to “expose inner city girls” to….”better things”. So why weren’t they there!? Of course it was a disaster and half the people in there looked like they had never even seen one thousand dollars, oh and she had stacks of the invitations at local stores….. So clearly she has MUCH to learn. A tragic case of an undeveloped BAP that needs to go to business school. Now the rest of them are not as bad, but crazy characters nonetheless. They are successful and have a lot of money, they have fun and do things that make sense. I still say that for the most part, all of them absolutely have NO CLASS. DOLLARS DO NOT EQUAL CLASS. WHEN WILL MY BLACK PEOPLE LEARN THIS? Your appearance, neighborhood, activities and other material things cannot give you CLASS AND FINESSE which is intangible! It really is embarrassing. Anyway I do get chuckles from the tacky white one who has aspirations to be a country singer and who is in awe at the black women. “He looks like O.J Simpson!” or “Black women age so nicely, I never know how old they are!” It really is sad because everyone thinks that handing black people money and showing them “a better life” will make everything perfect. I HIGHLY DISAGREE. Well I am done ranting about this, please watch the show and feel my pain.

BEYONCE IS THE BADDEST.period.

PLEASE WATCH THIS B4 READING. ok so after bouncing around to "Single Ladies" all day and witnessing my new favorite video.. .i came across my least favorite thing... BEYONCE HATE. just stop it! are you serious!?!? People said this song sounds like "get me bodied", ....umm and every other artist's shit sounds like their shit too! you know why!? because its their shit! get me bodied was a HIT to say the least so hell yes she made a similar song!, and im sorry if she is not inspired by crazy hood love stories or corny, whack scenarios, or money, cars and hos. this is something that ALOT of girls can relate to. essp, my fellow baps, and not even in relation to marriage, but commitment in general. people say she is showing too much skin??? because she has it! and she can be fit and look good without looking like she in desperate need of a steak! you try to hop on those 4+ inch stilettos and shimmy around like that without jiggling!!! she is FIERCE. people say her look hasnt changed!?? she went from rockin plastic, home made outfits with honey blonde dookey extensions on the cover of word up magazine to gracing the cover of all international magazines and rockin shit you and me cannot even begin to pronounce. they say she ripped this video off from somewhere... its called inspiration! and if you have heard any hip hop/ r& b music in the last hmm 20 YEARS, you know that sampling and re-doing is damn near essential and is viewed as creativity; to take something and make it your own. yes she is happy that she is married! yes she can sing and dance at the same time without sounding like she just ran a 1600 meter race! how DARE anyone compare her to BRITNEY SPEARS!? even though i loved britney's last album... dont u dare compare beyonce to some weak, washed up, blonde pyscho, crack ho. Beyonce CAN BE BAD without a set, without fancy costumes and whack ass props. she is an intelligent artist who relies on her TALENT to sell albums and not gimicks and a prayer.please re-visit "dangerously in love" and "bday" if you are still confused and play all EIGHT of them videos she put out AT ONCE. *woosah* and anyone who thinks differently is... a hater. and that....is sad. now excuse me while i go shimmy around my room in stilletos and a one piece.

mccain= hell no. barack=hell yes.

ok. so of course i love barack and have never liked mccain. BUT DAMN. he has really done it. besides his whack excuses for policies. the root of his being is what frustrates me. i felt this extreme dislike for "that one" after last night's debate, but really after obama's rally in indiana today. i literally was tearing up at the end of his speech because i really did not understand why the hell anyone would vote for mccain. i know barack is teased because of his great speaking abilities (i dont know why) but i think that is the number one quality a president should have. i see the president as someone who should connect with americans instantly. even if its on the television screen, i should feel like you are talking to me. mccains speech seems to be hmm, how do i say, FAKE?! and really i try not to be biased everytime i listen to him, but then i am completely hit in the face everytime he DOES NOT acknowledge "Senator Obama"; instead he talks to the moderator or refers to obama as "that one". HOW RUDE. In everything he says about education, the economy, health insurance etc, it seems as though he is completely out of tune with the majority of america. for instance, when he said that government should not be involved with healthcare and should not regulate it. HAS HE NOT BEEN TO THE HOOD!?does he not know triflin americans?! YES, people need to be forced to get their children healthcare!! it is sad but true. I recently saw an episode of Oprah where a family had the income but the mother shopped her ass off and had no insurance for her 4 children!!! At the root of it, mccain does not understand history. that's it. he does understand how events and periods in history have put people in places where they HAVE NOTHING BUT THE GOVERNMENT. history has tied the arms of so many people, AND NOW YOU DONT WANT WALK AWAY!? and if you asked his "maverick" ass, he would tell you otherwise, but really. if you own 7 houses and 13 cars, there is no way you can be in touch with normal americans. and people say "well, bball player have lots of houses and cars" -_-, they are not running FOR PRESIDENT!! no way. he does not understand the african american and other minority population AT ALL. i dont even think he has mentioned us in his entire campaign. he thinks the government should be removed from everything....then what is it there for!?!? why are you running for president!?? honestly. barack spoke so wonderfully today about everyday things mccain probably didnt even know existed. he wasnt even afraid to look around at the audience and acknowledge the different races and how we are all struggling right now. i am completely disgusted with mccain and really do not understand how people are voting for him. he is a no neck having, shriveled up, sick, senile, skeleton lookin, leather faced, out of touch, backwards excuse for a politician. he is so stuck on hurting obama, he cant even think straight. i am just WAITING for the n-bomb to drop. im waiting. barack spoke about the real american dream and american history and how the world sees us. he spoke about the ability for america to become a beacon again instead of talking about just winning this stupid war, and NO they are not one in the same. mccain seems like he is playing with little green army men around the world and just wants to jump on the couch hollering victory. barack seems to be connected to peoples lives and seems to actually give a shit about whats REALLY going on. i swear i do not know WHAT i am going to do if mccain is allowed into the white house. it will really say something about america. something i know to be true but pray everyday that it is not. please prove me wrong america.

"if ya like it, then you shoulda' put a ring on it!"

"don't be mad when you see that he want it".... ooohhh the excitement!!! BEYONCE'S ALBUM. if you know me, you know i am shaking in my pants. iv'e heard clips of " if i were a boy" and i was like ehh. but this one! "single ladies", i swear, me and beyonce are soul mates, she understands me lol. she speaks for me...because i can't sing. but anyways, everyone should download it and love it and think its fab, because i do..

ok. in an attempt to lose weight and because a few people have told me how great it is, i am picking up the activity of walking. yes. walking. im mad i didn't do it all summer, but theres still time before its unbearably cold. it does wonders for me. the air. the alone time= great. you should try it....

and the beat go...boom.

thats lil wayne 4 all u losers out there....so the soundtrack of the weekend was JEEZY AND T.I. i was jamming in nikitas car allll weekend. i suggest you download, buy or whatever.... ill share some of my favorite parts.....

• " bitch im amazin....eyes so low, i look like an asian"


• " my president is black, my lambo is blue..."


• "catch me in a black tee but im a business man, catch me at the kitchen table weighin out my business plan"


• "let the dollar circulate!"


• " they ask me what i do, i tell em' teachin for a livin...and i can show you how to make a mil right now"
  

now im not a huge jeezy fan, BUT he managed to make a cohesive, hillarious album about some real shit and still get in the usual including money,cars and hos.the beats were crazy and im glad he sees the recession and what it really means. hmmm maybe he should talk to mccain.

T.I= YUM. i havent really listened to the whole thing but that song "PORN STAR"?! WOW TI. WOW. let me bless you...

"hey, would you stay...could you play wit it wit ya tongue just a little...you such a sexy individual, physical and mental and if its sentimental shouldnt the rules bend a little. and let me start at the top, stop in the middle, use a popsicle make you shiver, giggle when it tickle, i can talk to you dirty if you like that,i finish once, hit a blunt, start right back. i know you told me you a good girl. but shawty yous a grown woman not a lil girl,.you can blame it on the patron or the champagne, but sometimes bein bad can be a good thing....." 0_0 WOW. and the beat is crazy...ooh i wonndaa!!

and common's new song "Universal Mind Control" with pharrell= craazzzyyy. ron brownz "Pop Champagne"- my fav.

no more clubbing...tear.

yeah. thats pretty much the conclusion I've come to. on friday night i went with my friend to LOVE. now if you've ever been to LOVE, you know that its a big shit show. i hadn't been in forever and i wish i kept it that way. it has much potential as it is nicely decorated, nice amenities like the pool tables, lighting, good music etc. but still, no more for me. the fact that i have to risk my life and my possessions finding parking and walking to the club then wait in that damn line is REDICULOUS. i can only go if its free and i dont have to wait. then ITS PACKED. i don't want to be touchin tiddies with another chick. then the guys.... WHACK. something is really wrong with me because ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you, im quick to buss a move when my song comes on, but i find myself being that girl in the club with her arms crossed with a mean mug on daring someone to touch me. i just cannot deal with the concept of a guy, who i have never seen in my LIFE coming up to me and placing his penis on ass and expecting me to grind and bounce and shake. nope. not gonna happen. that's gross. and its so weird because like i said, i like to get DOWN. but i cant do it anymore. it seems like these people missed out on the college parties where you got drunk and acted a fool and now they are trying to get it in. oh! and nelly was performing so you KNOW it was a mess. it was one thing for females to be scooting past me to see nelly but the DUDES!?? then commenting??? in reference to murphy lee i guess, or someone in nelly's entourage: "his dreads are fresh, i aint know he was that big"....-_-, if you don't get away from me.. i think i can only do an environment like that with a guy im interested in, that way i can dance, drink and not be bothered. that was friday night....

on saturday night i went to a lounge in bmore.... that was cool. i like lounge environments because 9 out 10 times, you can have space, sit down if you want to, dance, drink and enjoy yourself hassle-free. (and the lights are on and you can see me) lol. but yeah, i think thats the scene i will be frequenting more often... shout outs to megan, nikita, kendall and simone who i enjoyed my evening with!!!

my rants of the day

1. i swear i have heart and soul. lots of it. but today while walking down the sidewalk, i was digging around in my purse for my sunglasses and i look up and see this homeless man with his hand out begging, and i think "FUCK" because it looks like i am going to give him something, but im not! so i say "im sorry, i dont have anything" as i pass and he yells "YEAH, YOU GON BE SORRY!" 0_0 what!?? how rude! i have much respect for anyone and do not look down upon anyone and never will but DAMN! why it gotta be like that!?!? i was hurt for a second, then i got angry. why are there so many poor and homeless people?? i dont know who to blame, so ill blame everyone. i get so uncomfortable when i have to walk past them, but if i give them all my money( which i do not have), ill be right there with them!!! i don't even carry cash!! geez.

2. this one is for the fellas. why is it so hard for you all to make a girl happy? honestly. i have guys that call or text etc and want to "hang out" or something. then when we actually try to make plans its always "what you wanna do?" and when i say "i don't care" you all are stumped. YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME. why is it hard to some up with something besides the movies or getting food??? because then it becomes "i don't have any money". SO FIND SOMETHING THAT IS FREE. be creative!!!

ok. thats it.

HOW TO GET A B.A.P PART II

In response to my post How to Get a B.A.P, my good friend Mike suggested I give an example of what an ideal B.A.S.P would look like. I can only speak for myself, but I imagine most B.A.Ps feel the same way. I have had plenty of time to ponder this question of my ideal guy. Please note that most baps have a point of reference whether they know it or not. sometimes its their father or uncle etc, sometimes its a rapper, i came to the conclusion that it is only natural to base it off of what i know, which in my case is my father. now lucky for me, he is a wonderful man to my mother, me and my sister along with the other women in his family. So that is my point of reference. so i guess that is the platform from which all else begins...

1. get to know me.

this means aside from my name, number, and profession. you should be interested in who i am at my base and where it all came from. where i grew up, my family life, childhood and important experiences are all crucial to who i am now. so if you dont know anything about my past, how will you know me presently and most importantly how can you be a part of my future?? some baps might have things they do not wish to disclose about their past and you must respect that and hopefully get to a place where she will lower that guard. so if information does not flow freely, do not feel discouraged.know the people in my life, know whats important to me. know my goals, dreams and aspirations. know what i believe. you cannot do this all by simply asking questions soo...

2. spend time together!!!

talking on the phone, emailing, texting, aiming etc is all fine and dandy, but at the end of the day, we need to spend time together. period. you need to see me, i need to see you. we need to laugh. you need to notice my mannerisms, i need to notice yours. i need to study your behavior and vice versa. no technology can be a substitute. my theory is at the end of the day, if all man made things were to fall away and dissappear, what would be left? me, you, the sky, water,trees and animals. and we would have no clothes on. lol. you might laugh, but tis' true!! so to me, these are the only important things. all other nonsense is unneccesary.

3. ACCEPT ALL

once you get to know me and we are spending time together...hate it or love it, take it or leave it. thats my motto. what you see is what you get. all that you have learned about me and even what you haven't is ME. so there is no picking and choosing what you like and do not like and what you would like to change. it does not work that way. you must accept all of me. head to toe, inside and out. my hair, makeup, clothes,activities, hobbies..all of it. just take it. this doesnt mean staying with me and complaining all the time. this means loving it unconditionally. my b.a.s.p should be someone i can bare all too and not have to worry about opinions. even if i show another side of myself to the world. i should be able to show you all sides. this is pretty much it but....

4. be yourself too

do not let "you" become "me". i know a lot of people say lets be one together...nope. i dont believe that.you should be a team and "together", but i believe this is a common missunderstanding that is a reason, esspecially in modern western civilization for so many divorces and so much drama surrounding "love". i do believe in this concept, however i think we have twisted it into some fairytale, whimsical dream so that when it does not happen the way we want it to...we are heartbroken, depressed, anxious, divorced, separated and the list goes on. man and woman were created obviously for one another, but we must acknowledge ourselves at the same time. you may have to sacrifice small things here and there, but your happiness should NEVER be compromised. you of course have to find out what really makes you happy, and that could take some time, but it is well worth the search. now, what does this have to do with getting a b.a.p?

in the year 2008, we have managed to complicate things beyond comprehension leaving both men and women grappling for answers. my solution is simple. ill be there for you and you be there for me. food.fun.shelter.communication.= the basics.( i really grasped this while watching man vs. wild on the discovery channel) everything else is for the birds. in my b.a.s.p, i need you to lead and also be leadable. see me as your equal and respect me. and as for the here and now where most people my age are not looking to get married right now neccesarily, THESE RULES STILL APPLY. they really apply to any relationship, friendship or otherwise, give and take. it is quite simple. balance. mathmatics. ying and yang. when all else fails and you get confused, break it down to the basics. you should care about my well being and naturally i will care about yours. so when i find this person, i will crown him my b.a.s.p.


now that the foundation is out of the way...there are a few superficial things that i attribute to the fact that i am a modern african american female in western civilization and a product of commericialism along with other histories.....LOL. in my b.a.s.p as far as SWAGGER goes.... (if you cant tell, thats my new fav word) my ideal would be the following...

1. now notice in the acronym b.a.s.p... the first word is BLACK. this is my preference, for reasons that would take about 10 posts to explain. i make this clear because there are b.a.ps that are shallow and discriminate in the black race....nope. not me. i like them ALL. yum. i am light bright but i love all shades of chocolate. really. there is some warmth that exudes from all shades of brown. even though we might be called black (another 10 post subject)....

2. STYLE: from head to toe. for some b.a.ps this may not be an issue, sorry. this is one of my guilty pleasures. to me it says you care about your appearance and are interested and aware of the current state of fashion.

• HAIR: whether you have dreads, an afro, curly bush, simple cut... KEEP A SHAPE UP.(or whatever you call it depending on where you are from) it is very sexy to see that sharp line outlining your cute face. this includes facial hair, which is also sexy. but if you don't like it, and don't have any that's cool too.
• SKIN: use lotion! even if its the 99 cent kind, slather it on!! we want to see that brown glisten! not lookin chalky!! vasoline! queen helene! cocoa butter! anything!
• NAILS: hmm just keep em clean. im not fond of guys getting manicures, but if that floats your boat.... so be it. now pedicures... i will make you an appointment when i make mine! because in the summer months if you plan on having them thangs hang out... keep them looking presentable!!! no polish necessary.
• LIPS: chapstick!! i use to think it was wierd for guys to whip out chapstick, that was until i reached kissing age! MOISTURIZE! i do not want to see skin hangin off of your mouth! i will run away. seriously. and licking your lips is sexy but saliva will not cut it. CHAPSTICK: the anti-crust. love it, embrace it!
• SCENT: extra credit!!! as long as you do not stink, we are cool. but i swear, i whip my head around to take a peak when i am in a public place and a man walks past me and i get a whiff of goodness. HALLELUJAH! or when i hug you and my nose is pleased. it really does it for me. this is definitely a way to rack up points. but do NOT get carried away, smellin like you bathed in sephora's mens section?....not cool.
• CLOTHES: i feel sorry for guys. i really do, and i have discussed this with my male friends. you all have it bad, because in order for you all to look "dapper", you all have to drop LOTS of cash, whereas we can get a $10 tee and keep it movin. BUT this is no excuse. your jeans, white tee (that fits you and stops just beneath your waste) is just fine. if you have it like that and can go all out with the outfits, thats fine too. sweaters, jackets, hoodies, all cool, just make sure it fits, it is clean, wrinkle free, does not expose ALL of your ass (because i personally like seeing the just the top of your boxers when you stretch :) but i like to see a belt too... ) briefs are wierd to me lol. and i hate when guys have their pants all the way down and i see their whole brief ass...eew. keep it clean fellas.pick up a magazine and take a peak, and "do you", it is something intriguing about the items a guy chooses to represent himself...
• SHOES: this is a weak spot of mine. i am trying to stop this but i cannot. i love when guys have on fly shoes. it really really does it for me. like i said, it sux because i know they are expensive, but they really help. i ALWAYS look at them when you approach. you might not see it and even if i do it when you are walking away, i always look. maybe its because i love shoes in general, i dont know. the only thing i HATE, are mens pointy dress shoes.... NO. those are for ME. stoppit! there is a plethora of fly sneakers around the world. cop a pair. to "snazz" it up, get your fresh tie ups and to really get fancy or go to work or church, please keep the loafers from looking like you are 80.
• ACCESSORIES: hmm. depends. a watch is nice, classic... earrinG, acceptable..... earrinGS, excessive...... fitted...YUM.....other hats...cool..... doo-rags....ONLY IN THE HOUSE..... belts, of course but please stay away from the tacky buckles. i do not need to see any public service announcements strobing above your crotch area...... bracelets, minimal.... neckwear,minimal......ties, yum BUT ONLY WHEN NECESSARY. there is no need for you to have on a tee shirt and a tie!!.........socks, yes we pay attn to them too. you cannot wear thick, white sports socks with your semi-dress or dress shoes.patterns are interesting......draws, aka underwear, keep em clean/hole free, that goes for your "wifebeater" too.... sunglasses....cool.
• OTHER: I LOVE TATTOOS.YUM.but some girls do not. to me its like artwork on your body, but i understand if you have a job that does not permit them. or they just aren't your thing.

3. your interests: you don't have to have specific interests...just have some! sports and rap will not cut it. books,travelling,experiences,stories,beliefs,opinions are all interesting. if you can tell me about something i don't know about, even better. don't bore me or talk about something you THINK i might be interested in. don't be condescending and spill out your education through blabber about what you have studied. instead infuse your knowledge and education into the conversation in other ways. if i wanted to be in class,i can go back to school, lol. and if you did not go to college, thats 100% fine, but the same rules apply. don't be afraid to share your opinions and stick to them. don't look down upon mine. again, be you.

these are the basics for my ideal prince. lmao. i crack myself up. i will probably post more...

my rants of the day

1. i do not like her. period. exclamation point. sarah palin and her "gee golly bobby" voice and that facial she does makes me want to blinkblink and shove her. this article sums it up perfectly, showing how she is a "pretty" politician who has won some of the shallow american public because she is used to being in the spotlight of beauty pageants. she crawled out from her rock in alaska to get some warm air and thinks that whack jokes and puns will get her into the white house. she drops the "g"s of her words, and thats about all she does to try and "relate". PTA?? HOCKEY??? are you kidding me??? i am seriously reconsidering my citizenship if this woman is remotely near ruling this country. "pray the gay away"? PALIN PLEASE. Take your hideous hair havin, whack suit wearin, backwoods bamma accent, funky facial idiot ass elsewhere and relieve me of ever seeing you again. *woosah*

2. my second rant is african americans in corporate america. i have had two recent convos with my friends who feel the same way, and it still gets me heated. now i have absorbed all i can take of the machine they call corporate america and have tortured myself with its ways for four years in college. but i quickly realized that i would be damned if some white man would tell me what i could wear, when i could wear it, how my hair could look, what i could do for fun etc. now, no he doesnt walk up and tell you, but it is implied that you are supposed to carry yourself and present yourself a certain way in order for you to be successful. everyone cannot be jay z or play basketball so it is the only way out for many of us, but DAMN! i cannot take it. but what REALLY gets me is how now young black professionals have adopted this attitude which we like to call BOUGIE. i absolutely HATE it. in "professional" environments black people are scared to look at each other for fear of..what??? please explain. what? you dont want them to know YOU ARE BLACK??lol people kill me. KILL ME. im not even talking about being ultra expressive of your race/culture/ethnicity etc, because there is a time and place for everything, but please believe that your interests are not important to them at the end of the day. PLEASE BELIEVE IT. So why you are going out of your way to knock down stereotypes and negative images, trust that they are making up new ones! it is a lose/lose situation, and i dont do this to be hopeless or depressing, i just say it to make you aware because in the end, you can work anywhere and do anything as long as you know who you are, but if you don't.....

3. sometimes i think i am an alien and it really ruffles my feathers when PEOPLE DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOU. i am working as a receptionist right now and i see it as part of my duties to say "good morning" to all who pass me. this seems normal right? well i guess not!! because people whisp, yes whisp past without even turning their head to look at me. now i understand bad days or how you can have that "fuck it" in your system in the morning. i have it sometimes. well then you can still look, nod, smile or SUMTHIN. it literally seems like people go out of their way to NOT acknowledge you. i find this to be extremely rude and wish i had a button to make the person trip and fall flat on their face if after i say good morning and within the next 5 seconds, you do not answer. when i was in school on campus when people would be walking towards you and go out of their way to look at the sidewalk instead of acknowledging you. *sigh* maybe i am just bitter and ultra nice. w/ever. grrrr.